Abusive relationship test
This abusive relationship test helps you see what, from the inside, often looks like "that is just how they are". Answer 24 statements and get a breakdown across eight signs psychologists treat as markers of abuse.
The test does not diagnose anything and does not decide what to do with your relationship. It shows which themes keep repeating: control, isolation, belittling, jealousy and monitoring, money, pressure and threats, boundaries in intimacy, and blame for conflict.
This stays between you and your device. No sign-up, nothing uploaded — the result is calculated locally.
How the score works
Each of the eight signs carries three statements. They add up to a score per sign and an overall result: 70–100 means no clear markers, 40–69 means warning signals are present, below 40 means the signs form a steady pattern.
Two statements in each sign are worded directly and one is reversed. That keeps the result from depending on a habit of agreeing with everything.
Who it is for, and can you take it as a couple
The test is free, runs online and asks for nothing but honest answers. The result is shown as a percentage per sign, so what you see is not a label but the place where the imbalance is strongest. The wording is gender-neutral and works the same for women and men.
People often look for a version to take together, but this one is better taken alone. If control and pressure really are present, taking it side by side turns into one more scene where the other person reads over your shoulder and comments on every answer. When you do want a test for two, with a link to your partner and answers compared, that is the healthy relationship test — it looks at the couple as a whole and blames no one.
There is deliberately no separate test for the victim and no separate test for codependency. The statements are built to show both sides of the pattern at once: what your partner does, and what you have learned to explain away as "I must be imagining it." Splitting that into two questionnaires would cut a living situation where it does not cut.
Why abuse is hard to see from the inside
Abuse rarely starts with shouting. It usually looks like care: your partner wants to know where you are, worries about your friends, takes over the money. Boundaries move a little at a time, and each single step feels too small to argue about.
That is why this test asks about concrete repeating situations rather than labels. One match means almost nothing. What matters is how many signs stack up together and how long it has been going on.
What to do with the result
The result is a prompt for a conversation, not a verdict. If the score is low in one or two signs, start there: name the specific situation rather than the person's character.
If many signs score low, talk to someone you trust or to a professional. Abuse is hard to untangle alone, because the other party has an interest in your version being "I must be imagining it".
This test is not a diagnostic tool and does not replace a consultation with a psychologist. If you are in physical danger, reach out to people and services you trust.
Short answers
Can we take the abusive relationship test together?
People search for an abuse test “for two”, but this one is better taken alone. If control and pressure are genuinely present, taking it together turns into one more scene where the other person reads over your shoulder and comments on every answer. When you do want a couples format with a shareable link and a side-by-side comparison, that is what the relationship health test is for — it looks at the pair as a whole and blames nobody.
How do I know whether a relationship is abusive?
Abuse is recognised not by a single episode but by a stable cluster: control over time and money, isolation from friends, belittling, pressure and blame reversal. The test spreads these signals across eight signs and shows where they pile up.
How is abuse different from ordinary arguments?
In an argument both people are angry and both can be wrong, but power stays shared. In abuse there is a persistent tilt: one person routinely decides what the other is allowed, and the other adapts to avoid setting off a reaction.
What should I do if the score is high?
Do not make decisions alone, and do not open with “I took a test”. Restore contact with people outside the relationship first and talk it through with someone you trust. If there is a risk to your physical safety, turn to services rather than to your partner.
Can a woman be the abusive partner?
Yes. The signs in this test describe behaviour, not gender: control, isolation and belittling work the same way in any relationship, same-sex relationships included.
Is the test free, and do I need to sign up?
The test is free and there is no sign-up. Your answers are never sent anywhere — the result is calculated right in your browser.
How long does the test take?
About four minutes: 24 questions with five answer options each.
How is this different from the red flags test?
The red flags test is about early signals, while the decision to continue is still open. This one is about an established pattern of control and pressure in a relationship that is already running.
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